Don’t we all feel some pressure to be perfect? Even if we don’t feel pressure to be perfect in every sense, most of us feel it somewhere. I see it most often in parenthood, where - for some reason - a lot of people think it is perfectly ok to shame and judge other parents, especially on the internet. I try to keep a sense of perspective and humour when I read some of the things that are said particularly about mothers. I love ‘the Truth Bomb Mom’ (as those of you who follow my Facebook page will already know!) as she does perspective and humour in a way that always inspires me. And sometimes I need that because there are days when I’m not feeling as finely balanced as I would like when a little bit of judgement can seem like a lot. Like a few weeks before Christmas, I heard an older child at my daughter’s school criticising my child for not being able to ride a bike without stabilisers. Luckily my wonderful little girl either didn’t hear or didn’t care and carried on her merry way, while I glared daggers at this kid. Seriously, I gave her a look like she was another adult skipping the queue at last orders when I was desperate for a Long Island Iced Tea. That is not cool. And I am still here giving myself a hard time over that. Why should I care at all what a child thinks about my child? But I do, because what I’m really hearing is a judgement on me, as the mother who hasn’t taken enough time to teach my chid to ride without stabilisers. (Since then, she has suddenly had the urge to ride without them and is now riding around on her bike as if she’s been riding without them for years.)
This week, in common with many other places around the UK, the snow has closed school so I’ve been trying to juggle childcare with self-employment. To be fair, in many ways this is way easier than being employed as I’ve had no stress about having to get permission or being bothered about what anyone else thinks about me taking time off work. However, I’ve then put myself under a bit of pressure to make sure that things Get Done, whilst also providing Magical Memories for my child of the best snow ever. This coincided with me launching the 30 Day Declutter Challenge* and I was giving myself a bit of a hard time about this not having been perfect, or as slick as I would have liked.
However, the difference between me now and as I was a couple of years ago, is that I realised I was giving myself a hard time and stopped. I recognise that trying to make sure everything is perfect is the most likely thing to lead to be dropping the ball. So what if it isn’t perfect? Will anyone else know that? The question I now ask myself is ‘what’s good enough?’ As that is, by definition, Good Enough.
If you find perfectionism drags you down and your inner critic gives you a hard time over those things that aren’t 100%, I encourage you to keep asking yourself, what’s good enough? And some days if that’s just that everyone is fed, clean and without serious injury, then that’s good enough!
*Come and join the 30 Day Declutter Challenge by clicking on the Forum page or joining the Group via Facebook. It’s 30 Days to declutter your house, mind and life. I’d love you to join in and share it with anyone else who might be interested. You’ll get to see some photos, videos and maybe even some Facebook Lives of me doing my thing. It should be fun and by the end of March, you will have freed up some space in your house, your head and maybe even your heart. What have you got to lose?